Illustration by Calvin Sprague
We’re navigating a world filled with uncertainty and fear, and the urge to get pulled out of the present moment — and into anxiety — is extremely strong.
In this mini-episode, I meditate on a theme that’s been bubbling up throughout Season 3: The idea that we need to heal ourselves before we can accept ourselves and be present. I share my personal journey into love and presence — and now pandemic-induced separation — and talk about learning to recognize the gifts that are right in front of us.
Key takeaways from this meditation:
- Why we hold onto this idea of seeing ourselves as “broken”
- What being “ready” to accept the gifts in front of you really means
- How to stop postponing self-acceptance and see yourself as “enough”
Go Deeper
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RESET, a cosmic tune-up for your workday. RESET is a course created by Hurry Slowly host Jocelyn K. Glei that shows you how to take a “heart-centered” approach to productivity and get back in touch with the natural rhythms of your energy, your attention, and your creative flow. Learn more at reset-course.com.
Favorite Quotes
“A lot of us have this unexamined idea that when I clear these things up in the future, then I’ll show up. Then I’ll accept myself. Then I’ll bring my vulnerability to my partner. One of the problems with the ‘over-time’ approach is that we postpone acceptance until there’s a certain type of improvement.” —Bruce Tift
“If we are to break out of this cycle that something is broken and must be fixed before we can accept ourselves. If we are to break out of this cycle that we have to accomplish this or that thing before we can accept ourselves. If we want to do that, then we also have to accept ourselves as deserving of love and contentment right now in the present moment. As being enough.”
“It’s not a binary decision: Acceptance or healing. You can have one but you can’t have the other. It’s one of those complex contradictions you have to hold in the mind. It’s self-acceptance and healing at the same time. It’s self-acceptance and knowing that you can improve at the same time. It’s self-acceptance and being present even when everything around you is going totally off the rails.”
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Resources
The references and ideas I mention in this epi:
- Bruce Tift on our urge to postpone self-acceptance
- My interview with “L,” the ayahuasca facilitator/healer
- My interview with pleasure activist Adrienne Maree Brown
- The Hurry Slowly episode “Letting Go Isn’t Easy”
- Carmen Maria Machado’s book Her Body & Other Parties
- A new podcast I started for my girlfriend in Peru: Dear Ale
Call to Action
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